The Conference Presentation I Won't Make
(But Want To)

Hi, I'm Laura, and I will be your freak show for this morning. Someone made a mistake and forgot to get you a glittery Token Autistic Author with three Ph.D.s and a Nobel prize. Instead they accidentally got you one out of the trash heap you put us in after you are done putting up with us in school.

I spend my days on the internet mingling with my fellow trash, trading horror stories and passing the hat to try to help yet one more abused aspie teen on the streets whose loving parents threw them out, or yet another AS/HFA adult whose elderly parents finally died, leaving them with no support structure at all. It is nice that autism services are so parent-centered these days.

Oh, and I occasionally read papers by experts (all about autistic children of course since everyone knows autistic adults Have Their Place, somewhere between the rotting broccoli and last year's newspaper in the lower levels of the local landfill). These experts seem to derive their knowledge of autism from smoking too much of the wrong kinds of things. People like to follow them.

The one nice thing about being an autistic adult is that autism experts are no longer around to keep reinforcing the PTSD we all have from all the wonderful help that we got as autistic children. People think the experts and schools have gotten so much better since then and don't leave autistic people emotionally damaged. It is good to have something funny to laugh at.

Thank you for letting me be your Token Autistic this morning. The experience of being one of three autistics at a large conference dedicated to autism is somewhat like that of being one of three mothers at a large conference dedicated to Motherhood. It just warms my heart so, to see that so many people are taking the time to talk amongst themselves about what they want to do to us.

Laura A. Tisoncik

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